Analysts Link 3 AM Liquidation Spikes To Astral Projection

It appears the digital realm’s notorious predilection for 3 AM meltdowns might finally have an explanation beyond mere time-zone arbitrage. Industry observers, having exhausted all conventional economic theories for why Bitcoin (and other volatile assets) consistently performs its most dramatic gyrations when most of the Western world is dreaming, have reportedly turned to more... *spiritual* interpretations.

The peculiar phenomenon of weekend market swings, often occurring amidst a supposed dearth of 'real' market participation, suggests that the hands guiding these trades might not be quite so corporeal. One could almost imagine a global network of detached consciousnesses, perhaps engaging in a collective act of Astral Projection, deciding the fate of digital fortunes. This fresh perspective on "low liquidity" implies that when traders are physically absent, their non-physical counterparts become disproportionately influential in the broader crypto market. Perhaps the next quantitative easing will involve mandatory meditation retreats.