Administration Praises Economic Plan's Bold Promise To Not Exist

It appears the administration has unveiled its most daring economic strategy to date: the promise of *not* doing anything. Following widespread concern over proposed global tariffs, a brilliant new defense has emerged, championed by various surrogates: "Don't worry, they're never actually going to happen." This innovative approach offers all the rhetorical punch of a strong stance, without any messy real-world consequences.

The sheer genius of an economic plan whose primary selling point is its theoretical nature cannot be overstated. Businesses, initially bracing for a potential trade apocalypse, can now breathe a collective sigh of relief, secure in the knowledge that the most effective way to mitigate a disastrous policy is to simply assure everyone it's a magnificent mirage. It’s a bold redefinition of "policy implementation."

This novel administrative technique offers a tantalizing glimpse into the future of governance: present a plan, defend it by explaining it won't be enacted, and then bask in praise for averting a crisis that was, conveniently, entirely self-generated. One can only imagine the boundless possibilities for future policy, where the most lauded initiatives exist solely on paper, or perhaps in a particularly confident press release.