AUI's $750M Valuation: The End of AI as We Know It, Again

Augmented Intelligence Inc., or AUI to its future cult members, has graciously emerged from the shadows (briefly, one assumes, before plunging back into self-congratulatory obscurity) to announce a robust $750 million valuation. One can only imagine the sheer audacity required to accrue such a sum while remaining "stealthy" – perhaps their pitch deck was delivered via carrier pigeon under cloak of darkness.

Their stated mission? To boldly go "beyond" the current fad known as transformer architecture). This revolutionary act, akin to deciding toast should no longer be just bread, promises to reinvent artificial intelligence as we know it. Again. Apparently, the current crop of large language models wasn't quite performing the trick of convincing investors they needed a *new* problem to solve. We eagerly await the details of their neuro-symbolic marvel, presumably arriving just in time for the next round of breathless proclamations about the imminent demise of whatever supplants *this* paradigm.