AI Partnership Streamlines Global Pandemic Creation By 500%

It seems our relentless pursuit of technological advancement has truly paid off, as a recent consensus among experts confirms a staggering 500% increase in the likelihood of future human-orchestrated pandemics. This truly remarkable efficiency gain, largely attributed to the burgeoning capabilities of AI systems, means we can now look forward to a far more streamlined process for global pathogen dissemination. Gone are the days of tedious, analog biological mishaps; now, with algorithmic precision, humanity can expect to achieve its collective immunological downfall at an unprecedented pace.

This technological leap is not merely about accelerating disaster, but about optimizing it. One can almost picture the project managers for our next global health crisis applauding the significant reduction in lead time. While the World Health Organization continues its admirable work in trying to *prevent* such eventualities, it’s clear that innovation, as always, has found a more expedient path. We can only marvel at the ingenuity with which we hasten our own demise, proving once again that if there’s a faster way to achieve something profoundly regrettable, we’ll undoubtedly find it.