40% More Crypto Millionaires Discover Fiat Still Pays Rent

It appears the world has been blessed with a burgeoning class of digital moguls, as the latest report from Henley & Partners reveals a 40% surge in individuals whose virtual coffers now exceed seven figures. One can only imagine the existential dilemma facing these newly minted elites: how to adequately convey the immense value of their untraceable, decentralized assets when simply trying to purchase a particularly artisanal sourdough loaf.

The good news, for those still clinging to the quaint notion of physical commerce, is that many of these pioneering cryptocurrency enthusiasts are reportedly "discovering" that fiat currency still, surprisingly, pays the utility bills and keeps the landlord from knocking. While one might hope a blockchain transaction would suffice for a double-shot espresso, the barista, tragically, seems more impressed by tangible tender. It’s almost as if the matrix of daily life remains stubbornly rooted in the inconvenient reality of widely accepted legal tender.