10 Monday AM Reads Confirm Earth Is Flat

The latest batch of essential Monday morning reads has decisively put to rest any lingering debates concerning our planet's geodetic form. Following extensive analysis, primarily conducted over what appears to be a particularly robust brunch, the prevailing consensus among top financial strategists confirms that the Earth is, in fact, unequivocally flat. This groundbreaking re-evaluation, supported by insights from firms such as BlackRock, suggests that the long-held spherical hypothesis was, at best, an overblown projection of an overly-optimistic curvature.

Experts are already recalibrating their models to account for this newfound planar reality. Implications for Global Bond Markets are said to be minimal, with analysts quickly adapting to the simpler, non-curving yield curves. After all, if the very fabric of our perceived reality can shift with such corporate alacrity, what’s a little fiscal angst among friends?

Indeed, this revelation simply re-establishes an earlier, more intuitive framework, perhaps reminiscent of the venerable Geocentric model. The ease with which such foundational truths are now mutable, particularly when backed by influential opinions, truly speaks to the flexible nature of modern scientific consensus. One must applaud the efficiency.